Breathe In The Positive Air

I am in my 30s. When all of this happened I was in my early 30s.

My brain injury has caused a world of problems; but it doesn't stop at my severe TBI. It was so severe it had put me in a coma. I had a bifrontal craniotomy done and was put on a heparin drip for my subarachnoid hemorrhage but I was also on ischemia medication to prevent any blood clots from occurring.

It's great they had a wonderful plan to keep me healthy in my comatose state. But it wasn't enough. I had three ischemic strokes. I had a bilateral cerebellar stroke, thalamic stroke, and a brainstem stroke which greatly affected my pons. It was so bad to where one neurologist thought my pons had detached. He gave my husband the bad news that I will never breathe on my own again.

My next neurologist took another deeper look at my scans and said it was affected badly but not detached. So there is hope!

I had a wonderful trach, I went through intensive rehab, and today I am machine free. Well, I was...

Today I picked up my prescribed breathing machine.

THAT'S WHAT I'M CALLING IT!!

My sleep study showed I stop breathing, on average, about 9 times per hour. When I am under anesthesia, my heart rate drops to the 40s and the surgeons have to stop what they are doing and the team works at getting my heart rate back up. In all of my surgeries they have been successful with getting it up to the low 50s. They are able to keep it consistent, so the surgeons return to what they were doing.

Back to the breathing stoppage each hour; this is likely due to my pons being severely damaged when I had the brainstem stroke. Before all of this happened, I was healthy and participating in half marathons, Tough Mudders, and Spartan races. The only health issues I had, and still have, is eczema.

Going BACK to the neurologist saying I'll live off of machines forever, to me slowly returning to breathing on my own again, and to now needing assistance at night. I'll take it!

The way I see it, I should not even be here right now. The woman told me today it is a huge blessing that I'm here.

I should not be breathing on my own. I know another brain injury survivor who has a trach and lives on machines. He can't breathe without them. To think that could have been me.

All of that said, I may need a small amount of time during the day to breathe on a machine and then the entire night to breathe on a machine - I'll take it. I have claimed it a victory.

Romans 8:37, "...in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."